Still standing
by Nuky
Summary: First attempt to writhe a slash fic. Also songfic. About Sands struggeling to deal with his blindness and his new life. Mild slash.


**My first attempt to write a slash, people be scared… Disclaimer: not mine, not mine. The song is from Nickelback, Saving me, and Sands/El from Robert Rodriguez.**

**Still standing  
**

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin  
I'm fallin'_

He lay there on the ground, head down, finally broken by exhaustion and blood loss. He had fought and won, but it made no difference. He was going to die soon. Fucking god must perform one hell of a miracle to prevent that from happening. Then still, would he want to live a life in darkness?  
Slowly his mind drifted away into the last dream he would ever have.

If it wasn't for the shadow that walked towards him. __

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

He woke up and fell an arm around his wrist. One moment fear grabbed him, darkness was all around him. It covered his world with shadows of his past. The life he left behind when he walked away, when he had opened the car door with blooded hands and drove away, away from home.

His life had been hell for sixteen years, a loathing pit of hell. Never a home, never a shelter. The CIA was his way out, his freedom, it brought him to Mexico. Five years he had spent in luxury and pleasure until he got a taste of Mexican beauty. She brought him back to his fear.  
To be frightened and alone in the dark. __

Heavens gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin  
I'm fallin'

He rolled over, hearing a deep eased breathing. He studied the hand around his wrist with his fingertips. He became quite handy with touching. He needed to be, he didn't want to depend on other people. Not even the Mariachi.  
"You're pretty fucked up in the head, letting me stay here."  
"I know."  
"You're crazy El."  
"So are you." __

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
Hurry I'm fallin

A grunt and the strong man pulled him closer. The first time he had smacked him right in the face. Not because he didn't want to, but because he was scared. How can you trust your enemy even if you want to. Trusting was never a high quality of Sands. And definately not with another man, a great gunfighter and an opponent. Still he liked it, the touch, the feeling to be loved even if it was just physical. __

And all I need is you  
Come please hurry I'm callin'  
And all I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin'  
I'm fallin'  
I'm fallin'

"You know you're fucking with insanity here." He whispered in the mans ear and bit him softly in the neck. The other man mumbled something back. It wasn't quite the answer he was waiting for. Annoyed he placed his head on the Mariachi's chest and tried to feel safe.  
"You're annoying as hell El Mariachi."  
They've been together a while, still he couldn't relax or ease. The tension stood as a wall between them. He couldn't say it, but he was afraid.  
"I know."  
"I'm blind El."

"I know."  
"Then why are you still here."  
"Because I need to."  
And with that everything was said. Soon he found the stronger man's lips and kissed them hardly. When he heard the other man growl in a mix of pain and pleasure he grinned. "Now I'm livin' la vida loca." __

Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me  
Hurry I'm fallin'  
  
Morning came too soon. He moaned loud in frustration when he found out his glasses were missing. He crawled out of the tangled grip of the Mariachi. 'Why didn't he leave?' For a moment all he could do was sit quietly and listen to the man's breathing. 'What am I to him, just a mission, just something to fuck?' __

Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me

He stalked out of the bed. Disorientated he felt around for his clothes. When he was done putting his pants on he reached down to find his glasses. Papers, clothing and his gun but no glasses. Where the hell was that thing? He stood up and felt around the bed. Silk sheets, pillows and a familiar body he knew too well. Finally he pulled the glasses from under his pillow, relieved it wasn't broken, pissed he had slept without the thing on. He jumped when he heard a grunt from the bed. The Mariachi yawned. "You're already dressed?" Casual he shrugged and went on with his mission to find his shirt.  
"You're more beautiful without them, Sands."  
He laughed. "Yeah, but walking out naked will scare off all the costumers."  
"I meant the glasses."   
A moment Sands was caught of guard. The exact moment El grabbed him and pulled him close. It made him trip but the strong arms held him to his feet.  
"Fuck you El!" He spit and hit forward.  
El caught his fist and pushed it down. "I mean it." El pushed him against the nearest wall, placed his hands behind his body and pressed him hardly against the wall. Sands was powerless.  
"Let me go you fucker, get your hands off of me!" He spit but his voice failed him when a hand removed his glasses. He froze. The same hand played with his tangled hair. He could come up with something to say. What could you say at a moment like this?   
"I'm blind, El." He somehow stammered out.  
"I know." The Mariachi released his grip. "But still standing."  
He nodded. "Still standing." 

_Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me_

**And how bad was it?  
Please review, Nuky**


End file.
